Guest ContributorDo you remember your first adult sex toy? I will give you a second…..
You didn’t expect a question like that today did you?
I was in my mid 20’s, single and a coworker was having one of those at home lingerie parties. Before your mind goes off into a million different directions, it was in classic MLM fashion. You know the players of this market; Tupperware, Avon, Pampered Chef. In this particular case, the sales associate was helping the host of the event sell mid range, slightly tasteful and somewhat trashy lingerie. Not your Walmart brand but also no where near VS level.
What was odd and definitely not apparent when you walked into the party was that the stock included more than just lace and knock off silk. When it was your turn to purchase something (which of course you only did because you felt obliged to the host for providing you Pinot Grigio, pigs in a blanket and 7 layer dip) you went into a separate room with the sales associate to discreetly order the items you wanted.
It was suddenly like walking into one of those weird adult video places that have a “back room”.
On the table along with the aforementioned lingerie was an array of adult toys. Big, bulky and incredibly expensive dildos and vibrators. How strange that this secret bonus purchase would occur in your friends guest room. It was like being initiated into a secret club.
I had been curious about toys having never use them myself. I was single and full on cheap wine. The atmosphere made me a joiner. So along with some pretty panties and a new bra I also purchase the cheapest vibrator I could find. Sure it was neon pink and it drained batteries faster than an iPhone 6 but it did begin my journey as a much more open minded, sexually confident woman.
Like adult toys my own sexual journey has come a long way but sadly the embarrassment and the stigma of openly talking about owning and using them remains. The embarrassing joke of a kid coming into a room proudly waving their mom’s toy they found. The accidental discovering of the secret drawer, and the horror that one may end up in a meeting zoom background.
Along with my friends at Lovehoney and my partner Clyde (you will hear from him in the future) I’m here to help you find your way using my own cringing worthy moments and experiences. Don’t worry we will go slow and start small.
Here are five of my favorite things from Lovehoney to get you started.
Simple and small items that you can still hide from sight if you need to but are great introductions to a more comfortable, sexual you.
Strawberry Massage Candle
It doesn’t have to require batteries or be shaped like a eggplant to be considered sexual. Oils and candles quickly set the mood whether alone or with a partner. Touch is the perfect way to relax some inhibitions.
Sex Dice or Sex Cards
Adding playfulness with some games can lift the mood in a room. And letting chance decide your next move takes the awkwardness off of you or your partner.
The Ignite 20 Function Finger Vibrator
Gone are the days of running to the store to gets AAA batteries or stealing them from the remote control. Technology has advance in all things adult toys and this USB rechargeable mini vibrator fits perfectly in the palm of yours or your partners hand.
Arc Wave Ghost
Let’s not forget the men here. This textured male stroker is perfect for their alone time or when you want to try something a little bit different in your “technique”
Deluxe Mini Massage Wand
Don’t let the size fool you, this toy packs a powerful punch. Perfect for travel it’s compactness is bound to pass by the scrutiny of any airport security check. And if it doesn’t just give them a knowing wink and a smile.
These are just some small additions you can add to the bedroom to make you more comfortable exploring and experimenting. You can also splurge on their amazing Advent Calendar – read more about that here. Let’s make sure that your cheeks are flush with pleasure not embarrassment, to make sure your tone of voice does not lower to a whisper when speaking of sex and toys, and to open up new avenues of pleasure for yourself, your partner or for both of you. It might just be better than 7 layer dip.
~Bonnie, XO